This is the sort of mood I'm in today. It's Friday. The sun is shining. Summer is coming to a close, and I want to be anywhere but sitting at work.
Days like this give rise to overwhelming frustration as I stare at my computer screen and realize that if I can't sell, I have endless days of the same to look forward to. Men have a sexual thought like once every 7 seconds. That's about how often I think about my writing/being published/the industry, etc. You do the math. I'm completely obsessed.
Most days it feels as if I've been chasing this dream of being published forever. And if I let myself think about it, I probably have. Since I started writing books when I was a teenager, I've spent 30 years as a writer. I have a whole bunch of contest wins and a lot of positive feedback, but that next step seems as far away as the moon.
Yet I keep plugging away. Day in and day out. I honestly don't know how we do it. How do we keep up our spirits in the face of so many delays and such overwhelming disappointment? I understand why some writers quit just as they're on the verge of selling. It seems the closer you get, the harder those rejections are to take, and the less you believe it's ever going to happen.
I keep telling myself to let go of the outcome and live for the writing. But some days that just doesn't work. On those days I feel like my skin can't contain all the frustration I bottle up and shove down. That frustration blocks my creativity and keeps me from doing what I love--writing.
Needless to say this isn't a positive, upbeat post. This is a when-is-it-going-to-be-my-turn post. Hopefully soon I look back on this and think, sheesh, what was my problem. For today...Instant gratification...where are you???
Today's goal: Another 1000 words. Chug, chug, chug for 23 more days.
Yesterday's achievement: Picked up my daughter a day early-YEAH!
What I'm grateful for: A forum to vent
Quote: "Before you begin a thing, remind yourself that difficulties and delays quite impossible to foresee are ahead. If you could see them clearly, naturally you could do a great deal to get rid of them but you can't. You can only see one thing clearly and that is your goal. Form a mental vision of that and cling to it through thick and thin." -Kathleen Norris
