Happy 9th Birthday Emily

My daughter is another year older today. I can't believe how fast the year has gone. She's starting 4th grade in less than a week. It seems like just yesterday I was giving her a bottle and changing her diaper.

She's spending the day with Grandma and Grandpa. They're taking her to breakfast and the park. Tonight we're going to her favorite Chinese restaurant for spicy chicken.

Today's goal: Give my daughter a great birthday.
Yesterday's accomplishment: 1000 words, plugging along.
What I'm grateful for: A happy, healthy, great kid.
Quote: "I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it." -Harry S Truman (1884 - 1972)

Fresh outlook

Yesterday I wrote a scathing blog and decided not to post it. I was cranky and venting. I’m glad I resisted the urge to complain. Today, I’m in a much happier place. My WIP that I’ve been struggling with is a little clearer. Honestly, I don’t know how authors pitch on 3 chapters and a synopsis. There’s so much that changes from chapter one to chapter twelve as the characters develop through the course of the story.

The other reason I’m in such a great mood is that I’ve decided to attend the New Jersey Put Your Heart In A Book Conference. I recently sold (for money) an article to a magazine and the proceeds will almost cover the trip. Which means I get to fly on a plane and attend a conference in a state I’ve never visited before. And I get to accept my award in person.

Plus, I get to meet an on-line friend for the first time and hopefully meet both the editors I have submissions with. I couldn’t be more excited. One of my goals this year was to attend 2 conferences this year. I love achieving a goal.

The workshop line-up is awesome. Some of my favorite authors are attending. I'm sure I will learn tons of great stuff.

Before I go, I'm determined to get my current WIP done (I set a goal of 9/15/8). I'm already behind the pace I was hoping for. Writing 1000 words a day is so very do-able. Yet I'm struggling because the scenes are not in my head and inspiration has deserted me. A new direction for the ending is helping, at least I have a few more scenes I can write.

It's definitely butt-in-chair, fingers-on-keyboard time. Chapters seven through twelve always seem to be this way. Anyone else struggling with a WIP? What do you do? Wait for inspiration to strike or write through the block?

Today's goal: 1000 words
Yesterday's achievement: ditto
What I'm grateful for: I'm going to the PYHIAB Conference
Quote: "Many books require no thought from those who read them, and for a very simple reason; they made no such demand upon those who wrote them." -Charles Caleb Colton (1780 - 1832), Lacon, 1820

Instant Gratification...not

This is the sort of mood I'm in today. It's Friday. The sun is shining. Summer is coming to a close, and I want to be anywhere but sitting at work.

Days like this give rise to overwhelming frustration as I stare at my computer screen and realize that if I can't sell, I have endless days of the same to look forward to. Men have a sexual thought like once every 7 seconds. That's about how often I think about my writing/being published/the industry, etc. You do the math. I'm completely obsessed.

Most days it feels as if I've been chasing this dream of being published forever. And if I let myself think about it, I probably have. Since I started writing books when I was a teenager, I've spent 30 years as a writer. I have a whole bunch of contest wins and a lot of positive feedback, but that next step seems as far away as the moon.

Yet I keep plugging away. Day in and day out. I honestly don't know how we do it. How do we keep up our spirits in the face of so many delays and such overwhelming disappointment? I understand why some writers quit just as they're on the verge of selling. It seems the closer you get, the harder those rejections are to take, and the less you believe it's ever going to happen.

I keep telling myself to let go of the outcome and live for the writing. But some days that just doesn't work. On those days I feel like my skin can't contain all the frustration I bottle up and shove down. That frustration blocks my creativity and keeps me from doing what I love--writing.

Needless to say this isn't a positive, upbeat post. This is a when-is-it-going-to-be-my-turn post. Hopefully soon I look back on this and think, sheesh, what was my problem. For today...Instant gratification...where are you???

Today's goal: Another 1000 words. Chug, chug, chug for 23 more days.
Yesterday's achievement: Picked up my daughter a day early-YEAH!
What I'm grateful for: A forum to vent
Quote: "Before you begin a thing, remind yourself that difficulties and delays quite impossible to foresee are ahead. If you could see them clearly, naturally you could do a great deal to get rid of them but you can't. You can only see one thing clearly and that is your goal. Form a mental vision of that and cling to it through thick and thin." -Kathleen Norris

Hello Gorgeous

Meet Nic.

He's the hero of my latest WIP. He's a prince and a rocket scientist. In a word: brilliant. He's also first in line for his father's throne, a job he doesn't really want, but knows he must accept. Unfortunately, that means he will be forever denied the woman he loves.

BOUND BY DUTY

Once again he smelled vanilla. Something tickled his cheek. As he reached up to scratch at the spot, a finger slid his dark glasses down his nose.

He avoided meeting her green-gold eyes as desire rumbled through him as destructive as the 1953 quake that had devastated the town below.

She scoured his face with her gaze. “You look like hell.”

She, on the other hand, looked gorgeous. Straight golden hair, streaked with dark honey, framed an oval face with arresting dimples and gently curving cheekbones. She possessed the sort of loveliness any man could lose his head over.

Her hair tickled his skin as she leaned over him. He captured the strand between two fingers and toyed with it.

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

“That was going to be my question for you.”

Her lips pursed in disapproval. Their proximity to his own awakened a torturous longing to slip his fingers beneath the silken fall of her hair and coaxed her closer. He wanted nothing more than to spend the next few hours learning all the curves and textures of her lips. The way she would sigh as he kissed her. The soft hitch in her breath as he grazed her lower lip with his teeth.

He shoved her hand aside and slid his glasses back into place. “If you must know, I’m working.”

Her generous mouth, rosy and bare of lipstick, curved wryly. “On your tan maybe.” She sniffed him and wrinkled her slender nose. “Or a hangover. Your eyes are bloodshot.”

“I’ve been working late.”

“Right.” She drew the word out.

He should tell her to go away, but he was so damned glad to see her that the words wouldn’t come. Instead, he growled like a cranky dog that wasn’t sure whether to bite or beg to be petted.

Bound By Duty is a 2008 New Jersey Put Your Heart In A Book finalist.

Today's goal: Write the love scene I can't get out of my head.
Yesterday's achievement: 1000 words, my daily goal
What I'm grateful for: Tomorrow I get my daughter back from visiting our relatives.
Quote: "Change will not happen until the fear of staying put outways the fear of change." -Written on a white board at work. Not sure who the credit goes to.

Goodbye Kahlua

Today I had to say goodbye to my sable darling, Kahlua Kisses. I am going to miss her.

I was there when she was born in December of 1991, and I knew right from the start she was special. The entire litter of kittens was noisy. They couldn't move their feet without moving their mouths and Kahlua was the worst of the lot. I'm going to miss her scratchy voice. She was the only one who never missed a chance to talk back to me. And inevitably, she got the last word in.

I can't say she was my favorite (that would be unfair to the other 3), but I will desperately miss how she sat behind my head as I wrote. Or how she would rest her front half on my shoulder as I watched TV. Or how every time I went to the bathroom, she would put her front feet on my legs to be petted. She was an intense cat in her affection and her dislikes (it took her almost 7 years to warm up to my daughter).

My lap and my heart will be very empty without her around.

My todo list

Article for the magazine done: Check
Entry for Golden Pen Contest sent: Check
Fantasy story to Where Magic Begins Contest: Check
Partial off to the Agent who requested it: Check
Finish Bound By Duty:

Whoops. And I was doing so well. Oh well. At least I can concentrate on writing the last 30,000 words now that all the other stuff is done. I'm giving myself 30 days to do it. It should be a challenge, but not an impossible one. I absolutely love this story. I know everyone always says that (for me it's not always true), but these characters live for me. I think that's because this is the first actual writing I've done (not rewrites or polishing) in over a year. I'm excited to see what happens between them and bless their hearts, they do tend to take the scenes over from me.

The story is partially set on Ithaca near Kioni. Here's a photo. Seems like a nice romantic spot, doesn't it? You know, I almost feel sorry for my hero as he tries to fight his attraction for his best friend's little sister. Yep, almost, but not quite. He's such a stubborn, honorable guy that I really feel sorry for my heroine. Which is why his hands are tied, not hers. She's free to make his life a living hell. And with my help, she's going to do just that.

Today's goal: Send BBD off to the WTMB contest
Yesterday's accomplishment: I read 4-1/2 Desires.
What I'm grateful for: That I'm no longer dog sitting.
Quote: "Women and men have to fight together to change society - and both will benefit... Partnership, not dependence, is the real romance in marriage." -Muriel Fox

What was old can be new

This is a picture of stairway to nowhere in the town of Kioni on the island of Ithaca. Much of the town was devastated during the 1953 earthquake and homes were abandoned.

My friend Lexi blogged about rereading a novella she'd written years ago and it got me thinking about all the stuff I've got buried in my hard drive. In amongst all the books that I wrote back in the mid 1990's, I have 3 completed romantic suspense that never saw the light of day. I never pitched them to an editor or put them in a contest. I just wrote them, decided they wouldn't "fit" into the publishing house I was trying to write for and abandoned them.

The writing isn't bad. It's all first draft stuff. My voice has altered slightly. I can definitely make improvements. Of course, at this moment, I have way too much on my plate, but maybe in the dead of winter, when all my creativity has flown south to a warmer climate, I can print it out and mess around with some changes. I still have no idea what to do with it (it's only 60k), but it might find a home somewhere, someday.

How about you? Any forgotten gems collecting dust on your shelf?

Today's goal: Get my Fantasy entry off to Where Magic Begins (deadline extended)
Yesterday's accomplishment: Submitted a travel article to magazine on sailing trip.
What I'm grateful for: All my on-line friends. You're the best!
Quote: Y"ou have to recognize when the right place and the right time fuse and take advantage of that opportunity. There are plenty of opportunities out there. You can't sit back and wait." -Ellen Metcalf

Snippets of writing (not mine)

Every now and then I have to grab pen and paper and write down some great writing snippets. These are from The Ambler Warning by Robert Ludlum:

"Another gust of indignation arrived to fill Norris' sails."

"Norris tended to speak in disjunctives--either-or--when agitated."

"'How can you lose someone's identity like a sock in a dryer?'"

"a wince of a smile."

and finally "...rattled off like a waiter speeding through the daily specials."

Another author I often write down samples of is Nevada Barr. She write Anna Pigeon mysteries. Anna is a park ranger and each story takes place in a national park. She's fab.

Any snippets you'd like to share?

Today's goal: Finish my article for International Vacations and Yacht Charters (deadline 8/15)
Yesterday's achievement: Completed last polish on Bending partial for agent submission and Golden Pen
What I'm grateful for: A life uncomplicated by major stress
Quote: "Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what nobody has thought." -Albert Szent-Gyorgyi (1893 - 1986), in Irving Good, The Scientist Speculates (1962)

Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2

My daughter is heading to South Dakota with my parents and that frees up some "adult" time for me. So, last night I went to see Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2. I enjoyed the first movie. I think my favorite character is Blake Lively's Bridget because her storyline struck me in both movies. She's the prettiest of the four girls (IMO) and seems to be the most carefree, yet lurking below the surface is all this sadness. I like the contrast because when she gets sad, you don't see it coming and it hits home harder.

The scenery on Santorini is beautiful. Makes me want to go back to Greece. I've now seen 2 movies (this and Mama Mia) set in the islands off the Greek mainland since returning from my sailing trip. I think I left a little piece of my heart in the Mediterranean.

Today's Goal: Finish a final polish on my Fantasy story and send it off to a contest.
Yesterday's achievement: I took a lost kitten to the Humane Society. It was sweet and adorable. I hope it gets a good home.
What I'm grateful for: Some "adult" time.
Quote: "No matter how much the cats fight, there always seem to be plenty of kittens." -Abraham Lincoln (1809 - 1865)

Another final

Two finals in one week! Whew! I'm over the moon.

My Desire Pitch almost was, Bound For Duty, finaled in the New Jersey Put Your Heart In A Book Contest and will be heading to Susan Litman (Silhouette) and Jessica Faust (Bookends, LLC) for final placement. I'm in very good company with this final because Carol Burnside is a fellow finalist and she's so nice. I'm thrilled for both of us. And of course, all the other finalists.

I had intended to take the rest of the summer off and play with my new urban fantasy idea, but now I think I should probably take advantage of opportunities and make sure I have all 4 (yes 4) of my Desire wannabe's finished, rewritten, edited, polished and ready to go. Then, to fill the months of waiting that will once again stretch before me, I'll pick up the fantasy.

Today's Goal: Prioritize
Yesterday's achievement: wrote 1 page UF synopsis
What I'm grateful for: Finaling with Bound for Duty
Quote: "Success in business requires training and discipline and hard work. But if you're not frightened by these things, the opportunities are just as great today as they ever were." --David Rockefeller (1915 - )

Starting something new

I got this idea for an urban fantasy and decided to write it. Got about 2000 words written and got stuck. I love the idea. I don't know that it's fresh, but I'm hoping it will be fun writing something I've never tried before. I've got an interesting heroine with a dark past she's running from. I've got a hot guy with questionable loyalties. And not one, but two, evil, secret organizations interested in my heroine. And I tossed in a little goth society for flavor.

The trouble I was having was that I hadn't quite gotten a handle on my heroine. My regular characterization charts weren't helping. So today, I took a couple personality tests from her POV and there she was in black and white with shades of gray. Her internal conflict with the hero clicked into place as did her thought processes and motivation for behaving how she does.

Within half an hour I had two thirds of the synopsis done. The words just poured out of me. It was wild.

Of course, I have no idea how it ends. I had lost hope that I could enter the first chapter into the Where Magic Begins contest (for which I needed a 1 page synopsis). Now, I think I might just be able to get that first chapter finished. I'm interested in what sort of feedback it receives. It's very different than the other paranormal stories I've judged. No vamps, no demons, no ghosts, no shapeshifters. Some magic.

I love it when a plan comes together.

Today's goal: Get my wireless system working
Yesterday's achievement: Research
What I'm grateful for: On-line personality tests
Quote: "Personality can open doors, but only character can keep them open." -Elmer G. Letterman

From BLAH To WHOO HOO!

I just found out A Case of Meddling finaled in the PASIC. I am particularly excited about this for 3 reasons. 1) I fixed some stuff that 2 other contests had issues with and apparently that was the problem. 2) Diana V gets to look at and place it. Think she'll recognize it as the same partial currently residing on her desk? 3) This competition includes both published as well as unpubs. I can keep up with the big girls!

Whoopee!

BLAH

I'm not sure if all the waiting is getting to me. Or if it's the lack of anything exciting to plan for and look forward to, but I feel blah. I'm in one of those moods where I can't summon the energy to be angry or excited or much of anything. Maybe I'm thinking too much. I have this great idea for a story, but writing chapter one is like hiking around your neighborhood for the tenth time in two days. It's boring. All I'm doing is putting words on a page. There's no emotion in it. There's no tension. No worry. It's blah because I can't summon the energy to pick up the pace and up the conflict. It's in my head, but it doesn't translate to the page.

Last night I started The Ambler Warning by Robert Ludlum. I couldn't put the book down for the first seventy-five or so pages. Starts out in a high security government mental institution on an island. Our hero is incarcerated there. He's not crazy, but they're keeping him drugged. A sympathetic nurse helps him by giving him her key card. He gets himself out of his cell, dresses as an orderly and goes down a laundry chute. Overpowers a supervisor and bluffs his way onto a boat. Once he gets to land he heads to his home. He learns he's been gone for 2 years and no one recognizes him. The men in the white coats show up and he steals their van and gets away. Goes to an internet cafe and discovers he no longer exists. Steals a car and drives to this piece of land he secretly bought only to find out the cabin he built no longer stands and someone is shooting at him. He overpowers the shooter, appropriates the guy's money, id and blackberry, then drives to a hotel where he looks in the mirror, doesn't recognize himself, and wonders if he truly is crazy. BAM! End of part one. Talk about a page turner. You don't exist, people are trying to kill you. Where do you go from here?

Oh well. Back to my boring little scene.

Today, I have no goal, achievement, I'm not grateful for anything and I don't have a quote. How are you doing?

More Movies

This weekend, I took my daughter to 2 PG-13 movies. Yes, I'm a bad mom. But she picked them and she's got a pretty good head on her shoulders.

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor: It was okay. I'm a Brendan Fraiser fan, especially in this role. And it was set in China. They kept all the familiar gags in it without going too far. Kept me entertained.

Swing Vote: I've never been on the Kevin Costner band wagon.
I think the only movie I really liked him in was Silverado. The movie was pretty good. Perhaps a tad on the long side (there's only so long you can watch a father suck at being one). I really like the actress they hired to play his daughter. Madeline Carroll pretty much stole the show. And that's saying a lot when you've got a cast that includes, Kelsey Grammer, Stanley Tenucci, Nathan Lane and Dennis Hopper. It made me sad, both because of how awful things can be for kids who have to be the adult of the family, and because although this is a spoof of our political system, it's only a little over the top.

On a writing note. I started chewing on a new book. I'm diverting from category romance in favor of an urban fantasy. I'm doing this from a marketing standpoint. I considered what's trending up and down, what I'm interested in writing, and what I'm reading in paranormal contest entries. I've started and discarded a half a dozen things lately in search of something I could sink my teeth into. This might be it. I'll know more after I get the first 3 chapters done. I've committed to doing that much. For now it's titled Urban Fantasy. What do you think? Original, huh?

How was National for those that attended? Learn anything new? Last year I came back pumped full of ideas (and insecurities). It was such a great experience.

Today's goal: 500 words on UF
Yesterday's achievement: Not a whole heck of a lot.
What I'm grateful for: Lexi's back from vacation, and she finaled in Heart of the West!
Quote: "Don't use words too big for the subject. Don't say 'infinitely' when you mean 'very'; otherwise you'll have no word left when you want to talk about something really infinite." -C. S. Lewis (1898 - 1963)